- November 24, 2025
- Center for Developmental Psychiatry
On The Power of Gratitude
By Jason Dean, MD
Thanksgiving is all about gratitude and appreciation.
So I figured I would take some time to write about the psychology of gratitude and the effects it can have on our psyche.
Gratitude can be very powerful.
An amazing example of how gratitude can transform your life is detailed in John Kralik’s book, entitled “365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life.”
In that book, Kralik explains how he wrote one thank you note a day, to friends, family, and even staff members at a local Starbucks.
He describes how this process of routinely focusing on what he has to be thankful for totally transformed his life.
I would highly recommend it.
And thank you to my wife for recommending it to me 🙂
But why is gratitude so important?
I find myself going back to an important concept originated by Sigmund Freud.
Freud described something called the superego, which is that part of the mind that contains our values and moral principles. The superego also contains something called the ego ideal, which is our internalized image of our ideal state.
The superego compares our real self, or our internal view of ourself, to our internalized ideal, and to the extent that we are found lacking, our superego takes us to task.
This is the regular state of affairs, and it’s actually good to have ideals and goals.
The problem is when that internalized goal is distorted and impossibly high or exalted.
This is the high school student who needs to get straight A+’s, or the managing director of a finance firm who needs to become the CEO.
The situation is often compounded by the fact that an individual may see themselves as unrealistically low or unaccomplished.
This gap between the perception of the real self and the ideal self can cause a great deal of anxiety, as one strives in vain to work harder and harder to reach an impossible ideal state.
On the other hand, this gap can lead to depression and despair if an individual gives up, resigning themself to a feeling of being woefully inadequate.
From the standpoint of child development, it’s important to note that the superego is actually the internalized voices of parents, teachers, coaches, and other adult authority figures.
Our children are absorbing the way we think and speak about them, internalizing these perspectives and opinions into their own superego.
An overly harsh, critical voice may be absorbed and installed as a harsh, self-critical agency.
Conversely, a loving, supportive voice will be internalized as an internal sense of being enough, fostering a realistic internalized ideal.
I think gratitude is important because it shocks us out of the pattern of constant comparison between where we’re at and where we think we should be.
Or where our children or partner is compared to where they should be.
Instead, we focus on what we have, what is good in our life, and how far we’ve come.
I think that focus helps soothe the wounds caused by an overly harsh superego, and, when applied to our children, provides the framework for positive self-esteem.
But gratitude requires effort. Our lives are so busy, and there are so many important goals we have for ourselves.
It takes concerted effort and intention to stop the rat race, focus on the good, and communicate that to others.
But it’s worth it. It’s worth taking the time to consider the good in our lives, to recognize others who have contributed to that good, and to let them know about it.
If you read the Thank Yous book, you’ll see how this changed perspective totally revolutionized the author’s life, largely because gratitude makes others feel so good about themselves that they want to be around you and help you whenever they can.
On that note, I’d like to thank all of you for reading these articles and engaging in my vision of mental health treatment.
It’s very meaningful to me to be able to share my ideas through these articles, and I appreciate you giving me that opportunity.
If this message resonated and you feel your family might benefit from guidance, you’re welcome to reach out through our appointment inquiry form.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Jason Dean, MD
Founder, The Center for Developmental Psychiatry
Clinical Instructor, Yale School of Medicine